Cooking is all about nourishing your loved ones and yourself.
It’s about taking the time to savor the taste and goodness of a beautiful dish.
Although food helps (a lot!), there’s so much more to making sure that you as a person feel whole, complete, and nurtured.
And that’s why I’m such a big fan of the lesser known (but internationally celebrated) “Kiss and Make Up” day this August 25.
What Is This Holiday All About?
To “kiss and make up” is an English idiom meaning to forgive someone and mend your friendship with that person.
This holiday is an excellent reminder to appreciate everyone in your life, good or bad.
It’s a great way to sleep well and to ensure that anything ‘bad’ that happened in your past won’t affect your happiness today.
Let’s face it. Life is just too short for us to hold grudges.
No matter what happened.
It’s normally just better to ‘let the bad stuff go’.
But while forgiving others is super important, I believe the real importance of “Kiss and Make Up” day lies elsewhere…
I think this is a perfect occasion to celebrate self-forgiveness.
A day to learn how to be gentle—to Kiss and Makeup—with ourselves!
We beat ourselves up so much!
Because we are frequently harsh and self-critical, sometimes we simply forget to forgive ourselves!
But I believe self-forgiveness holds the key to long-term happiness.
The ability to look deep within and forgive yourself is a process and a journey.
An Easy to Follow Self-Forgiveness Process
And while it is difficult, here are 5 steps to help you walk through a very basic self-forgiveness process:
Step One. Write down what is important to you. (Your values, your goals). Being clear about what is a top priority for you is so important. Once you understand that, everything else will fall into place.
Step Two. Assess (gently!) your past. Remember that no matter what has happened in the past, you did what you had to do. As ‘imperfect’ as it might seem to you now, you have always tried to do the best you knew how in that moment.
Step Three. Make a list of your regrets. (This can be hard and painful but it is super fruitful). Look at that list and try to be ‘objective’ as you analyze them. Is there a pattern to your behavior? Do your best to uncover any common themes rather than dwelling on individual regrets. Self-knowledge is the cornerstone of all change.
Step Four. Re-write history (in your mind). For each regret, write down what you would have preferred to have done (knowing what you know now). Visualize that new outcome. And learn from that visualization.
Step Five. Embrace self-compassion. Make you—and your needs—a priority in your own life. Every day ‘treat’ yourself with a gift or a moment that is all your own. Set aside time for yourself in the morning to be grateful for what you have and who you are.
Let’s this be a holiday that’s not only about spreading kindness to others, but about being kind to ourselves.
And I have a great idea for your first step of ‘self-kindness.’ Why not prepare this yummy recipe for Lemon-Kissed Blondie Bites by Dreena Burton.
Nothing quite says ‘love’ like a delicious dessert!